"Coronatine" Insanity

This past week a child client told me, that we are in the “coronatine” and she is tired of it all! And trust me, I couldn’t agree more. This has been nothing short of an adventure that has an insane amount changes and shifts. With no clear end in sight and the fear of the unknown, who wouldn’t experience some type of anxiety! 

This pandemic has caused everyone to react differently. Normally, you can venture to a store, restaurant or even the bank with little to no hiccups. However, things have drastically changed. Leaving your home has become an intense mental, emotional and physical task. I must admit, the changes left an effect on me. 

Home

I’ve worked very hard to ensure that each day feels different. The “Ground Hog Day” feeling is real! Who would have known! I’ve shifted things around, added craft time, intense homework time, and me time to my routine and I believe it has helped. However, I still feel that something is missing! I’ve tried to cook more, but who wants to cook when they feel overwhelmed! Thank goodness for Door Dash but I’ve found myself being a weirdo when the dasher arrives with my food. Who am I? Also, I’ve had a lot of packages arrive to my house (time for new stuff) and I’ve been avoiding my normal 7 am amazon delivery man like the plague. I’m really confused with myself! Also, I’ve avoided my neighbors and have put my head down and quickly walk past people on hiking trails— ok. I gotta get myself together. This isn’t me. Again, I am noticing intense shifts.

Mental State

Normally, I operate by being an early riser (even though I have a child that does not believe in sleeping). However, the past few weeks have been a struggle for me to wake up and be motivated. I have slept in much later than I normally do. Also, I started to notice that I have vivid dreams that lead me to wake up in an anxious state. Also, I began grinding on my teeth in my sleep. What is this? How can a person that typically wakes up like Cinderella, end up in this state? Where has all of anxiety and irritability come from? Well, I’ve fallen into the Coronatine emotional trap! 

Grocery store

In my pre-coronavirus life, you would not find me happily shopping at the local grocery store. I typically go in, grab my items and leave within 20 minutes. So can you imagine my visits now? I’ll be honest, I’ve only made 1 trip to the grocery store and it will probably be my last visit until things change. I have discovered that click listing is the most amazing thing ever! I tell everyone to use this service! Let me explain why We should all use pick up services during this time. I do not know about you, but I probably looked like a basket case going to the grocery store the last time. I had my “go” kit of cleaners out (hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes and Lysol spray) my irritating mask on and a stank attitude ready to brave the storm. When I arrived at the store, the parking lot appeared to only be halfway full, which I took as a good sign but I had no idea what I had gotten into. As I entered the store, I noticed a strange elderly man next to me.... then it happened, he coughed. I wanted to just abort the mission and run for the hills, then I remembered that I had completely prepared myself with gear and quickly moved on. I continued to shop for items that I needed and noticed that not only are the items that I needed very scarce, but there were so many people close in proximity to me. Usually this wouldn’t bother me, I rather enjoy people but not on this day! Several people began to have massive anxiety attacks, others were yelling and some people carried on like it was a normal day. What do I make of this?  Why am I trying to analyze this situation? I noticed that my emotions started to go nuts and I realized that I had to get out of this insane place. I quickly made my way to the self-checkout and left. Whew- what I trip. I had to sit and meditate just to reduce the stress and anxiety that I felt. Again, what the heck has happened to me? Why do I feel this way? 

Side note- you, grocery workers, are rock stars! I have no idea how you manage to work and deal with people in the stores. I appreciate you more than words can say! 

The Car Dealership

As I visited the car dealership (look, do not judge me- It is week 6 of the quarantine, and my car began to beep at me) to have it serviced. I made sure to carry my “go” kit and I socially distance myself in an empty waiting room. As I waited over an hour, (when they originally said 30 mins of wait time when I scheduled) another person entered the room. I instantly felt a strange feeling of anxiety take over me. I sat it in the chair staring at my phone, dreadfully waiting to find out where this person planned to sit. Then it happened, the dude sat in the only seat near me. I instantly became overly anxious and irritated. Why would he do that? Doesn’t he know about social distancing— there are other chairs 20 feet away! Then the rational mind hit me- Why am I panicking? Ugh... yes, the pandemic. I practiced my own coping skills and calmed down.

These experiences made me stop and think. As I reflected, I noticed that my everyday reactions have been altered. Has the Coronatine changed my life? What should I do? Then the light bulb came on. I have too much exposure to negative energy. My brain has been saturated with talks of random information on the Coronavirus from hours of talking to clients, trying to find truthful news, social media posts, commercials and interactions with my everyday people. This is too much and it has started to affect me negatively. I decided that I would change my coping routine and reduce the amount of negative information that I’m receiving. It’s now time for me to redesign (see redesign blog post), create a healthy schedule (see That Quarantined Life post) and focus on Mental Wellness. I’ve decided that I will take control of the emotions that the Coronatine has brought into my life! Time to get these emotions together!