A Therapist in the community.
As a therapist, I have the opportunity to meet all shapes, sizes, temperaments and kinds of people. Meeting people provides me with invigorating energy. However, there are times that I like to take a step back and blend into the community of people. I like to blend at times due to the fact that once people realize that I am a mental health therapist, they react in a few different ways. The first way is positive. For example they become excited, begin to express their emotions, discuss life stories and provide me with information. Awesome right? Yes, during my working hours! The second way is negative. For example a person will instantly clam up, ask me “Are you analyzing me right now?” (Heck no, I do not analyze people for free- Come on!) or reply with “Why do you like crazy people?” (completely inappropriate) The third way is they just walk away! Rude right! Anyhow- I digress. During this post, I will explain ways that I interact in the community that I live in, which happens to be the same community that I work in. I do know many therapists that refuse to work and live in the same community due to the possibility of running into a client. Personally, I believe that you can run into a client ANYWHERE so I might as well live my life and be prepared.
Typically, people believe (so they tell me) that mental health therapists have perfect lives and live inside of our warm and cozy offices! Nothing could be more wrong. Just like every human that walks into my office, I have to take care of my life and family. This means that I go out into the “real” world. Yes, I go to the stores, dentist, hairdresser, soccer practice etc just like everyone else. It amazes me that people forget that I am a regular human. So back on topic- What do I do when I run into a client in one of these many places? Simple, I smile! I do not like to offend others or act like I do not see them (you’ll lose clients over that!)! If they come towards me and speak, I say hello, have a little small talk (No therapy session), and I keep moving. I generally do not initiate interactions because I do not want clients to feel weird or have to explain to another person our relationship. So let’s break this concept down.
In the Neighborhood:
As Daniel Tiger would say, “It’s a beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, It’s a beautiful day for a Neighbor!” This show teaches children about a community and how they are all linked to one another through experiences and employment opportunities (Sorry, I have watched like 60 episodes with my child lol). So why do therapists find it awkward, weird or wrong that we have experiences with our neighbors? It interests me that we teach this concept to our children constantly, however many therapists that I know attempt to avoid their neighbors! I feel that this may be due to burnout or the fear of having dual relationships (which we are taught to avoid), however I do not feel that it is necessary to change your life because of it. Due to the amount of time that I have spent in this profession and the type of community that I live in (Military Community), I tend to have many clients both past and present that live in the neighborhood around me (No one next to me). Since we all live in the same place, I see client’s at community events and school events. I do not hide away and rob my family of enjoyment, so I go and carry my happy face! I do not promote myself, nor do I ask questions about personal things. I keep my interactions brief, yet friendly and will catch up with the client in our next session.
The Store:
The place I tend to run into clients the most is “the store.” Whether it be a grocery, big box, department store you name it! Chances are that I have run into an old or current client there. On average I run into someone at least 3 times a month. I often run into a client in Target as I look like hell, have a screaming kid and a cart full of supplies. Initially the client will stare blankly like they have seen as ghost (and I think- here we go! They do not believe that it is real!) Then they usually run over and attempt to have a conversation. Although this may be awkward (it normally occurs organically and does not require any work), I stand there and engage in small talk. However, I usually have an out, and quickly leave these conversations thanks to my rambunctious 4-year-old. You may think that this is an awkward occurrence but being a human and grabbing supplies for my family happens! When I have meet and greet pow wows with other therapists that I know, they usually become mortified that I run into so many people. I simply remind them that we are all human, have the same needs so who cares if I saw a client at Kohls as I tried on my new and banging outfit! I see these occurrences as opportunities to form real-life connections to clients because they usually notice transparency and relatability.
Entertainment
Whenever I have the opportunity, I enjoy going out on the town. This includes a simple romantic dinner (who am I kidding, I have kids. Lol), movies, shopping and an occasional cocktail. This is normal and mentally healthy to take breaks for any person, especially for helping professionals. However, living in the same community as my clients poses a risk for engagement out of the office. Many people ask, “How can you enjoy yourself if your client sees you with a cocktail?” The answer is simple— I remind them that being a therapist also includes modeling what you preach. For instance, I always tell people that they should enjoy a weekly outing to reset themselves. So, if a client observes me following this advice “in real life,” chances are that they will have a new-found connection and trust with me because the can see that I am a REAL person, not just an Elevated and knowledgeable creature. Does this mean look and purposefully go to places and hang out where your clients do? NO! Does it mean get wasted at your local bar and hug your client? NO! It just means that if I happen to see a person in public, I smile (greet them if they speak) and I continue to enjoy myself.
Vacation
For the average person, Vacation tends to be a fun time away from people that they know/work with (unless they plan to spend time with that group of people). I always hope that helping professionals will have vacations that are completely away from their daily work. However, with my luck, I tend to run into people EVERYWHERE! Yes, this does include my vacations. Most of you may stop and think, The Hell? Yes people, it does happen. On several occasions (not all) I have run into clients on my get-aways. I have come to the conclusion that both my clients and I enjoy good deals and tend to book vacations when the deals occur! (Damn you travel sites!! Jk lol). So, how do I handle this? Well it is simple, I smile at the person and keep moving (#theme!). If my client speaks to me, of course i say hello and quickly keep moving. Does this ruin my trip? Heck no! I continue to enjoy my vacation and remove work from my brain.
To sum all of this up, if you enjoy what you do as a profession, have healthy boundaries and have decent relationships with your clients engaging with them in the community can be seen as a positive thing (as long as it occurs as an occurrence, not purposefully- do not be stalkers people!). It is completely normal and fine to see your clients out and about. It does not make you less of a professional and you do not need to be on your best behavior at all times. For goodness sake, just be real. Use these opportunities to connect with your clients and model healthy life balances. The next time you see a new or old client in public, simply smile and keep going!