The stress of a therapist
Stress as a therapist
As therapists we all live in a world where stress does not exist! We handle life perfectly and never slip up! WRONG!!!!! If you believe this, then whew! You have a ton to learn! Being a therapist is hard work!!! You live bearing the brunt of stress daily as you attend your job. We chose this profession right? Yes, we did. However, I believe that many of us did not realize how our personal life really does have an effect on how we manage stress as therapists. Life happens to everyone-including therapists. As a therapist not only do you hear about the stress your clients, you now have stress due to transference (a lot of the time), and plain life stress. How do we handle this stress and remain there for our clients? What occurs that helps us stay grounded? Now that we have established that stress does really exist in the life of a therapist, where does it occur?
Kids-
I don’t know about you all, but once my child arrived on this earth a massive new wave of stress hit me! Who would have known that children cause this much anxiety! As a therapist parent, people expect that you have it all together and your children are perfect! You have all of the parenting answers blah blah. Trust me I’ve heard it all. The truth is— No people, my kids are not perfect and I do not have all of the parenting answers! I do have extra tools in my toolbox, but like everyone else I have to try these tools until I find what works for my kids. My kids are kids, so they cause me stress, are expensive and did I say cause me stress? Lol So how do I deal with the stress of the kids as they drive me nuts in the morning before I even leave my house! Simple, I take a riding break (See the Kanbi Riding Activity on the website) to release that stress and tension before I even hit the office. How do I manage this stress in the evening? I eat cake! Just kidding, I do make sure that I have some type of relaxing smell going through my house, take a “therapeutic” shower and complete some kind of hobby activity before bed (reading, couponing lol planning for the next day) so that the stresses of my kids can be handled. I work really hard to prevent the stress caused by interacting with my children from impacting my ability to perform at work or in the community. Here are a few tricks to help you with parental stress:
Remember your child contains their own packaging. Your child is a new experience, so you will have to work like any other parent to raise them. They will not follow all of your amazing therapeutic techniques or plans. You will learn things as you go, so control your frustration when things do not occur as planned.
Do not see your child as a client. This means no diagnosing them! I do not want you to be in denial if they have mental health needs, however I would like you to step back and allow other professionals to observe if there are concerning patterns.
Be present! I know that working as a helping professional can be extremely draining but release tension on your way home and enjoy your time with your child everyday.
Take breaks! Yes, kids can be exhausting and overwhelming. You deserve evenings out occasionally to help you recharge to manage the children.
Spouses
Every person struggles to integrate themselves into romantic relationships. We all have fantasies on how our relationships should be and we start our very excited and optimistic about it! The unfortunate thing about this is the fact that humans are humans. We cannot control our spouses. With that information, how do we handle the stress of dealing with our spouses when they frustrate us? How to we process the information? How do we prevent it from disturbing our work?
Here are a few steps to manage this stress:
Make sure you spend time managing your own emotions before you react to things that include your spouse.
Remember your spouse does not meet the criteria to be your client (no matter how cray cray they are! Lol). This means that you cannot provide them with therapeutic techniques!
Accept being human and accept being at fault sometimes.
Spend time early in the morning or late at night having private chit chats.
Schedule your daily “hug and squeeze” time to keep the physical intimacy alive.
Enjoy a night in or out with your spouse
Friendships-
Friendships can also be very stressful. We all work hard to be there for our friends. We cry when they cry, laugh when they laugh and are their sounding board whenever they need us to be! So of course, now we the friend and therapist have added stress! Who would thought! Most of us do not realize that this stress affects how we function! So, how in the world do we manage this? Here are a few suggestions:
Remember that you are the friend, not the “therapist” so do not provide any therapeutic advice, nor give any therapy input.
You are allowed to hug and cry with your friend! Do not feel that you cannot have any emotions.
Take healthy breaks, do not feel that you have to stay highly involved in the any of the situations emotionally or physically.
Team up!!! Bring your other friends in to help situations! You do not have to be the level headed savior at all times!
Add in a mental breaks (see Breaks= Emotional Regulation Post on this website) before you head home or being your work for the day.
Finances
Just thinking of the word finances gives me shivers! Finances are something that cause every person stress. Many people stay up late at night worrying about how they will pay for the next big thing. Others try to ignore their finances until there is a crisis. As therapists we work hard to pretend to “live relaxed and free.” Many times we counsel clients that suffer from anxiety and stress due to their finances and we work hard to provide them with techniques to manage this stress. Do we, therapists, apply these concepts to our thoughts and feelings about finances? If not, what can you do to manage your personal stress due to finances?
Take some time to relax and let go of that worry.
Create a plan of action for your finances and always think of ways to save.
How can you live mindfully with your finances?
Make sure to have a budget for a few enjoyable things every month.
Health
Stress we feel from health comes in various shapes and sizes. We can be stressed due to the health of a loved one, or we can be stressed due to our own health. Unfortunately, there will be times when our loved ones require emotional support from us to help them manage illnesses. We should be there to help support them, but when do we take a break to keep our own stress under control? How do we manage the stress of our loved ones, health?
Remember to be the loving family member, not the professional. Do not try to use any therapeutic skills with loved ones (I know this is a difficult thing to do), just be a support.
Work with your family member to create a supportive network that includes a few people and yourself.
Take breaks. I know that it will be hard to not be at the beck and call of the loved one, but remember the amount of mental stress you carry! You as the professional have to work on releasing this stress.
Illness will play a part in our lives and we all experience it. It can affect how we feel, operate and express our feelings. Many days you will go into your practice not feeling 100%. How does this work? It can be very stressful to maintain a smile and maintain a bright attitude when you feel under the weather. How do we as therapist handle our own health stress?
Before you become overwhelmed with the health stress, take time to ask questions and be knowledgeable about the health ailment.
Take a step back from your work if you need healing time. I did not say quit practicing (unless you need too!) but reduce your sessions so that you can focus on being well.
Create a support network for yourself! I know that therapists believe in being super humans, but you need people bounce ideas off of and ways to learn new things.
Have a regiment! We always preach this to our clients, so create a plan that will help you improve your health.
Understanding the sources of stress that we have in addition to practicing as a therapist is very important. Taking the time out to prepare yourself for the amount of stress that you may carry is imperative due to the high rates of burnout that occur within helping professionals. Hopefully the suggestions in this post will help you move towards being a healthier and less stressed therapist!