The therapist, the Introvert
Due to my smiles, outgoing and entertaining personality I tend to appear as an extrovert to most people. I engage in conversations with clients happily and do not know a stranger. I work hard to let off relaxing, funny and caring vibes at work, but good gravy, it drains me! This does not mean that I do not enjoy being a therapist, it means that it can be a challenge to remain consistent, especially for a helper professional. Fortunately, and unfortunately, I have to carry the extrovert personality with me when I engage in the community. The extroversion will drive my friends and husband insane when we venture out in public due to the amount of interaction that occurs. They will make comments such as “Do you know everyone? Why do you give off those vibes? How do you have that energy to be kind? Why do you just talk to random people?” My response to them is simple. I reply by saying, “I just can’t help it, ok!” We all laugh, I call them all “haters” and we move on with various activities. However, what most people do not expect my other side which is the “introvert”. Sadly, my friends, family and husband all deal with this side. Like most introverts, I enjoy having time to myself, being in calming environments and isolation.
Once I retreat to my beautiful home, I enter into my safe zone- this is where the change happens! I feel like Mr. Rogers (for those of us old enough to remember the show lol) when I go home. I take off my shoes, sweaters, glasses and bra lol (Ladies you all know), put my hair in a messy bun and switch into my home clothes. Once my clothes change so does my affect! I now morph into the introvert. I usually keep verbal communication to a as needed basis, try to hide as best as possible, and shy away from leaving my comfort zone. I do not engage with my neighbors and I stay confined with in the property lines. I typically like to focus on being alone (of course I have chores, cooking and kids etc), I do not volunteer to have people over nor go out into public. I know that this makes me seem kinda nuts and slightly hypocritical, however I use this time to healthily recharge from all of the energy that I put out on a daily basis. Being a therapist does drain the emotional tank. This means that I have to work consistently to refill it so that I can give my best to the people that I serve. So, how did I become this way? What caused me to change? So, to put questions at ease here is the background.
Most people will not believe this, but as a child, I had a very quiet personality. I enjoyed playing by myself, was shy and enjoyed creating things in a safe place. Of -course this did not always occur due to having siblings and a very active lifestyle. During my teen years I realized that I would have to start stepping out of my box to have a so called “typical teen life experience”. I slowly began to peek my face over the fence and became extroverted in public. I made a lot of friends and engaged in a lot of new experiences. I joined every club possible and made appearances at many events. However, at the end of these experiences, I would run home to hide in my safe place of a room. I would recharge those batteries and began the cycle again.
College, oh man. What can I say about this time in my life? First, I’ll say that I had a TON of fun, however I did have the opportunity to really return to my introverted self. I would use studying and school work to remove myself from people and I quite enjoyed it. I did love to time interacting with humans for fun activities however, my secret introversion began to affect my life. I started to really weed out relationships and spent many hours alone. These tendencies rolled into my professional life. After college I did realize that I had to find ways to healthily feed the introversion, as well as keeping up with the extroverted portion of myself. I experienced many trial and error situations that tested my abilities to manage it all. At one point my best friend had to “rescue” me from an intense episode of seclusion. Once this occurred, I realized that I had to create a plan of action to keep balance in my life. i often alter my plan to fit current circumstances, but I work hard to stick with it. Thankfully, I now have balance.
I believe that becoming an introvert person/extrovert professional has shown growth that I have made in my life. I’ve worked really hard to have positive social skills. There are times when isolation benefits me so that I can continue on my journey healthily and reduce excessive burnout. It also provides me the ability to be productive and set proper boundaries. I have embraced who I am.